Defining Unnatural

"We do not even in the least know the final cause of sexuality"

- Charles Darwin, 1861

Recently, I and a friend were talking about homosexuals, and my friend said homosexuality was "unnatural." She had the audacity to repeat this while I was too astonished to make a rebuttal. Here is my reply to her statement and my feelings on whether homosexuality can be considered "natural." I'm not out to change anyone's mind.

For a heterosexual to view homosexuality as "unnatural" makes it only fair for a homosexual to view heterosexuality as "unnatural." If homosexuals found heterosexual sex "natural" they would be heterosexual, would they not? If homosexuality can be seen as unnatural for various reasons can't heterosexuality be seen as "unnatural" as well?

At the very core of heterosexuality is an inherent inequality which I find unnatural. Most societies of the world, in the West and in the East, are patriarchal, which means these societies are phallocentric. All everyone thinks about is the phallus. Men glorify their penises and women supposedly suffer from "penis envy" only to later long to be on the receiving end of one. Male sexuality is celebrated and encouraged, while female sexuality is shrunken and overshadowed. Heterosexuality, as a whole, seems to be leveled at the female, ready to whip her into submission. The penis itself, when used improperly, becomes a weapon of humiliation, violence and aggression. Really, it seems like it is impossible to rid society of the idea that the "boy screws the girl" and the "girl gets screwed", no matter how "liberated" women become. I'd rather not "get screwed", in both senses of the word, thank you very much.

However, I am not out to bash heterosexuality. I just think homosexuality should be given a fighting chance instead of being branded as "unnatural." Heterosexuality and homosexuality both have their "natural" and "unnatural" elements and neither is more "unnatural" than the other. What is "natural" anyway?

Society needs to realize that homosexuality, throughout the ages, among flies, dolphins, Bonobo monkeys and finally humans, is already natural, was always natural, and will always be natural. For the most part, homosexuality seems unnatural simply because there are fewer homosexuals than heterosexuals. If being unnatural can be equated with being apart of a minority, I guess having blue eyes is also "unnatural." Heterosexuals need to stop branding homosexuality as unnatural and homosexuals need to stop seeing themselves as unnatural. Believe it or not, each human being's search for love and matrimony with a fellow human being is legitimate and natural. Regardless of sexuality, it should be recognized as such.

Many homosexuals suffer from thoughts of suicide, anxiety and other psychological problems because society has made it so hard for them to go against the status quo without suffering dire consequences. Once people get a whiff that somebody is gay they assume a host of misconceptions about homosexuals are true for the one homosexual they know, even when they may not be. There's more to people than their sexuality. Is a heterosexual defined by his or her sexuality? I don't understand the inequality. A person's sexuality does not define who they are or make them any more natural or unnatural.

Some people like to play it nice by hiding behind a nice, neat distinction: homosexuals are not unnatural human beings (God forbid!) but homosexuality is an unnatural phenomenon. Such people are fooling themselves with hypocritical contradictions. One can not love the homosexual and hate homosexuality. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality for heterosexuals, is a key part of who homosexuals are, essential to their core, their psyche, their peace of mind, their dreams of love in the present, past, and future. To separate the two, to condone one and not the other, is unnatural.

Does defending homosexuality make me a homosexual? Another misconception is that a heterosexual supporting homosexuality is as unnatural as homosexuality by itself. One does not have to be straight and homophobic. Being around homosexuals or allowing them to live their lives and marry if they so desire or refusing to treat them in a disdainful or discriminatory matter will not cause a straight person to turn gay. A sexual orientation is not contagious contrary to popular belief. Those who are straight know they are straight no matter who they are around and those who are gay, know they are gay no matter who they are around. Why then are so many straight people so afraid of "unnatural" homosexuals?

Trying to convert, bully or stifle a person's sexuality is trying to alter who that person is. Such behavior is unnatural. To defame and destroy a part of a human being without consent or cause goes against a person's nature and nature itself. Yet, so many gay people are wounded emotionally, and at times, physically, when homosexuality is plastered with the term "unnatural." I am sure that no matter how you define the word "unnatural" (in all the ways it can be defined) it is normally used in a derogatory manner. No one deserves the label "unnatural" to be placed on her or his desire to love.

- Ryu