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despair
March 2009 
Installment 7: Lonely Planet
Posted on Feb 13th, 2008
by 
Sora Ryu
Sora Ryu
i feel like i live my life in a bubble
trapped in a bubble'
i want people to love me
i want them to care
i want them to not be so distant that i need to keep reaching out just to know they are there
i have always looked on as people laugh and get along, i want this too, but either i just don't get or, due to some inner fault, i run away when they congregate
i can't a word in
these underdeveloped social skills
push me to the outskirts
i just don't stick
i am autonomous
independent but alone
dreadfully alone
the people are there but nothing connects
i am happy when the connection happens but otherwise
life is dreary
despair and misery are my best friends
always at my elbows leering at me
i want to believe otherwise,
i want to not feel this way
but i have no friends
perhaps the sooner i realize and accept this the sooner i'll be better
but i don't want to wander, and yet that's all i am
take this cup from me
trapped in a bubble'
i want people to love me
i want them to care
i want them to not be so distant that i need to keep reaching out just to know they are there
i have always looked on as people laugh and get along, i want this too, but either i just don't get or, due to some inner fault, i run away when they congregate
i can't a word in
these underdeveloped social skills
push me to the outskirts
i just don't stick
i am autonomous
independent but alone
dreadfully alone
the people are there but nothing connects
i am happy when the connection happens but otherwise
life is dreary
despair and misery are my best friends
always at my elbows leering at me
i want to believe otherwise,
i want to not feel this way
but i have no friends
perhaps the sooner i realize and accept this the sooner i'll be better
but i don't want to wander, and yet that's all i am
take this cup from me
Access: Public
I think you are seeking happiness from the wrong source. That's my sense, wrong though it may be.
ur right
i complain too much
when something goes wrong i take it out on myself, yell the frustration at the sky
thing is, i write these things to vent my pain, i don't want to take it out on other people, i 've seen what that can do.
i want to express these feelings, for (temporary relief) or the internalized pressure will destroy me.
i probably need to learn to roll w. the punches more
i am sorry i am so unstable…
Namaskar Sora Ryu
you don't complain too much, i share your sentiments you expressed in your poem.
i've always been a “floater” before and now. i don't belong anywhere yet from this i can belong everywhere when i find “another fellow tribesman” it 's wonderful. i am beyond border….beyond color…as a result sometimes (or most times) i am beyond understanding.
Love and Light
Don't apologize for venting on your own blog.
I'm not exactly stable myself.
Your lucky to feel so deeply, my heart's pain is concealed in darkness.
take the pain out into the light and examine it. find out what hurts. let it out, yell if u have to, but express the need for consolation and closure. it is a step towards healing. be honest w. urself: vent…