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healing
March 2009 
Rough Subject: Suicide
Posted on Feb 8th, 2008
by 
Sora Ryu
Sora Ryu
I know most people are averse to this topic, but being open about is the only way to prevent people from feeling they have no other outlet, and that no one understands.
Plus for those who follow obscure, lonely paths, suicide is constantly with them, whispering a way to make all th pain go away. I am not advocating people take their own lives but that people discuss the posibility and encourage the person to turn from the death drive to one embracing and clinging to life and love.
Most people lie when asked "Have you ever considered suicide?" They don't want to be considered crazy.
I am brave to admit I have. many times, usually in times i feel vulnerable, lonely, weak or simply crushed.
Many who are brave enough to answer the first question would decline to answer "In what way would you plan to kill yourself?" It would make them seem as if they are fantasizing about their death or trying to romanticize it.
Men usually choose the swift, decisive route: a bullet to the head or the noose.
Women, for which suicide is more of a cry for help than a desire to no longer exist, usually injest pills or rat poison, in hope that someone will save them before they pass on.
Cutting oneself or slitting the wrists, seems universal and romanticized especially among young people ("Go down the road, not across it."). These are general trends.
For me, I hate pain and indigestion so guns, blades, and pills are not for me.
I would rather be obliterated in a second, so my imaginings usual lead me to consider jumping in front of a subway train or of a high building. I can't swim, so strange enough throwing myself into a body of water and slowly drowning works too.
Worse, being a romantic, i can easily imagine dying to protect one I love, usually taking the bullet for someone.
I know I am strange. But I know the death drive is common in everyone. Tell me what you think...
Plus for those who follow obscure, lonely paths, suicide is constantly with them, whispering a way to make all th pain go away. I am not advocating people take their own lives but that people discuss the posibility and encourage the person to turn from the death drive to one embracing and clinging to life and love.
Most people lie when asked "Have you ever considered suicide?" They don't want to be considered crazy.
I am brave to admit I have. many times, usually in times i feel vulnerable, lonely, weak or simply crushed.
Many who are brave enough to answer the first question would decline to answer "In what way would you plan to kill yourself?" It would make them seem as if they are fantasizing about their death or trying to romanticize it.
Men usually choose the swift, decisive route: a bullet to the head or the noose.
Women, for which suicide is more of a cry for help than a desire to no longer exist, usually injest pills or rat poison, in hope that someone will save them before they pass on.
Cutting oneself or slitting the wrists, seems universal and romanticized especially among young people ("Go down the road, not across it."). These are general trends.
For me, I hate pain and indigestion so guns, blades, and pills are not for me.
I would rather be obliterated in a second, so my imaginings usual lead me to consider jumping in front of a subway train or of a high building. I can't swim, so strange enough throwing myself into a body of water and slowly drowning works too.
Worse, being a romantic, i can easily imagine dying to protect one I love, usually taking the bullet for someone.
I know I am strange. But I know the death drive is common in everyone. Tell me what you think...
Access: Public
…sky dragon…
…do you realise that there is a waiting list to get into this world ?…as soon as you bail out and realise what the whole picture is you try to get back for the unfinished business…
…this is a rough school…but the pay-off is worth it…lessons are learned qucker down here…as tough as it is ,find support …and hold those that are so inclined and make them feel loved…this is the main reason people want to leave…
I've never considered suicide but I have had moments that I wished I didn't exist. That if I died, it would be OK. But then,I passed through that darkness and realized it was not OK. That unless I'm terminally ill, my unhappiness is transitory and often changes quickly and once I come out of that temporary shadow, I see the light again and the trees and touch someone I love and think, damn, life may not be easy but it is such a gift and I want to hold onto it as long as I can. I'm sure there's not one person who committed suicide who, after they reached the other side, wished they could change their minds and take it back. The trick is finding ways to pass through the veil of unhappiness without dying. There are many ways to do that because life is so big and so easily changes. We can change whoever we are at any moment. Death is change. But we don't have to die to change our lives.
My niece tried to commit suicide when she was in college. Now she is a doctor and a scientist working on ways to heal people through traditional medicine. Many are grateful, family, friends and her paitents that she freed herself from a selfish act to living a life of helping others. We all need each other in Life. There is no one left out, no one exempt. Be the best you can be and you'll recieve help!!!!
Thanks for posting this Sora. I've had thoughts about what if … death vs life when I'm in the depths of some painful experience - usually regarding someone I love. These thoughts were stronger when I was a young person … and now rarely occur. I agree with what Will wrote above - that this life is a journey that we're on and every mistake, every crappy experience, every wonderful joyful experience is worth living. I am doing a lot of “unfinished business” in this lifetime … I am very aware of that.
I sense you and feel your pain … turn it around and make it into something strong and beautiful. yes, you can do it.
thanks guys
i contemplate many things
i analyze myself the ebbs and tides of darkness and light
many things hurt
but in the end i think i will be ok
thanks for all the support (i think this is what saves people or rather pushes them to save themselves)
i'm not saying i'll never be sad
but it is apart of life and i'll move through it
healing and scarring and bleeding only to heal again
I kind of think the soul enjoys the pain as much as the joy…it doesn't differentiate anything that allows us to feel. Of course, we can tell the difference. Sometimes when I'm in a sad place I push myself further into the emotion, feel it in all it's glory, wallow in it and then say to my soul, “there…that was for you….now show me what I learned and you show me the opposite emotion…it works for me…
i can feel your emotion and i share the comments that Will, Glynda, Joy and Peridot posted. i have gone through that pain and am thankful now because from that darkness i can see myself clearer. wishing you the best in finding your “daemon”. don't look too hard, it has its own time. in the mean time, know that you're not alone.
Love and Light