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March 2009 
Morose
Posted on Sep 2nd, 2008
by 
Sora Ryu
Sora Ryu
i am ungrateful and distasteful ... i don't deserve to live
no one will love me and i will never be truly happy
i begged for love now i beg death
i wish God would just strike me down, a quick death, so i woundn't have to continue living out my miserable existance
i don't want to try anymore.....it's too late to apologize....i'm spent
"then they'll all be sorry.......they'll all be sorry when i'm dead
for all people's good intentions in the end they all seek to hurt me
suicide is selfish but everyone will all get over it like they always do, like they should
plus, in the great scheme of things, i am insignificant
no one needs me
Access: Public
Yes, we'd be sorry. But are now, too.
Lack of love does not mean it does not exist.
You are loved, despite what is “felt.”
ahhh, I'd be very sorry. I would indeed miss you. I feel compassion for you because I am like you …
yes, as shared in the comment above … you are loved.
You have reached out me and I have felt your strength and love … more than once.
This gross, ugly time, these minutes, hours of pain that you're feeling right now … will pass.
Hang tight my love!
Well check out this really significant person whose profile I just found. It has these cool quotes:
To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation
-from The Alchemist
The trick is to keep breathing.
-Garbage
and I am sure you too are a person who is serious about obligations…….
And this really significant person who is needed by the world, has these wonderful and admirable goals:
Goals
Love my sweet self unconditionally!
Attain enlightenment
find my inner daemon
to create beyond myself and bring forth the Superman
And I think you can tell she is finding her inner daemon today, on the way to loving her very sweet self unconditionally, which would be attaining enlightenment, and bringing forth the SuperWOMAN.
These are really important things she is doing, which do require breathing, and which will lead to her realizing her destiny.
Can you go help her out? She needs you.
Hugs, Rev. O.M. Bastet
Sora~ we really wish the very best for you. If you are feeling suicidal and might harm yourself please seek help! This is a number for the national suicide hotline: 1-800-784-2433 You can also visit their website here. If you are really in trouble, you can also call 911.
I know this may sound extreme, but your life is so valuable, you have yet to discover all you will contribute to the world and we here at Gaia can offer support but are no replacement for the kind of help you can get professionally. People love you and you are a gift to the world. If you need it, please seek help and reach out.
You are worth it!
~Janet
Sora, we are here, listening and caring. Hang on, dear one. It can be so difficult at times…
hugs
Sora, Sora, Sora. Oh I wish I could come, fly soar into the air, whoooosh to be with you. Sit with you, listen to you, weep with you, howl at the moon, bury our anger in the sand, pound our fists on the table, let it all out!!! — and then laugh and giggle together. OH SORA! You are not alone. We are in this with you. We are all in this together. We are so in this together. We are with you, listening and caring.
Hugs,
Jeannie
Sora, I have only to add to the expressions of love here. I LOVE your profile. You have so much inspiration to share. Please know we are here for you and value you. And, as Janet said, please reach out and seek help if you need it. There is no need to bear your burdens alone.
I have faced much depression in my life and wanted to let go of it many times, but I can tell you things can get better. Life is traumatic at times, but it gives us the chance to rise to the challenge. Life changes, our situations change. It's a great gift. Please hold on and know that there are good people waiting for you to bless their lives and there are good things waiting for you to experience them.
Sora, you are a being of strength for being able to acknowledge such feelings of sadness and loss;
you are a being who is getting reborn to the freedom you have found;
you are a being reaching out to compassion and helping us to discover that it exists.
Thank you dear one, for bringing this to light.
You are a being who is loved.
Ahhhh! To be in the midst of the chaos, the intense pain, the extreme exhaustion caused by a mind that can see only continued failure if allowed to go on and death as the only escape from the perceived inevitable failure… All black and white thinking… no gray areas… no possible way thru the loneliness….
and I think back to the time I wanted to take my life in the dark of night in a run down mobile home… I was in middle school… I don't remember exactly why everything was so messed up. I was smoking cigarettes, hanging out with people who didn't care if I hurt myself or not, not fitting in with any crowd let alone the “In Crowd”…
and I wonder if you know how many people would put their arms around you if you could simply let them in long enough to know how badly you're hurting right now. Curl up in a little ball and sleep thru it then call the number Julia gave you. Give yourself permission to feel miserable… yeah, cuz it really hurts badly right now and to beat yourself up for feeling terrible only adds to the terrible, stuck feelings.
I wonder if anyone has written the book, “Feel the Change and Do it Anyway”… Change hurts so breathtakingly at times and it doesn't seem as if there will ever be an end to it… with enough sleep, a 1/2 hour walk in the morning to get out of bed… another one in the evening before bed to get yourself out in the world and the endorphins going… that is a good way to get thru the intense times in one piece.
Hugz to you, Sora
Amber
I've felt the same way before, alone, unloved, uncared for, like your useless, does that sound similar? I want you to know your never alone. You just need to remember you do have a purpose in life, you may just not be realizing it yet. Don't give up yet Sora, you sound like a good person with loads of potential! Sp keep holding on you can get through this you just need to try!!
Best of luck to you!
My dear TwinSoul
as you can see, you have so many souls here who can understand you. you know that what's in you is stronger than anything else. relight it. like so many of us say in here, we wish to be huddling and cuddling together with you.
you are me and i am you, my sister.
i feel what you feel. i yearn what you yearn. i want to go there to.
please write to me.
Love and only Love
shantih
“the soul in me bows to the soul in you”
i apologize for the harsh words…..you have all been there for me….you have all rallied around me and carried me……
i am happy to report that my boat has sailed to less stormy waters thanks to your collective kindness…..i can walk stronger knowing that so many brothers and sisters want me to ……
when i am at my lowest low and have no one to turn to … there u are
much love and thanks ….God bless you all
-Ryu
bless you too! thank you for sharing this happy report, it is a comfort and a light to longing eyes. warm hugs.
Whew, what a relief to hear from you, -Ryu, that our words helped and you feel better. Not knowing how you were doing was challenging, distressing, of concern, worrisome – something like that !!!
Keep up the upward spiral, you have great things and a most delightful life ahead !!
And a few cool surprises along the way !!
Blessings, OM Bastet